The Cheese Burger Method Paragraph

In the story "Time of Passage," James Falkman’s reverse life exemplifies the little disparity between death and birth. Through this invertion of birth and death, the author is suggesting that regardless of which happens first, what's important is how one chooses to live his or her life. The strongest evidence of similarity between death and birth is how the story begins and ends the same way: with death. Falkman revives from death at the start of the story and he relives his life to the very beginning, where technically he was non-existing. There is little distinction between the start and end of the story when Falkman awakens from death only to die again at the beginning of his life. In contrast, the time between his revival and birth serves as the interest of the story. During his lifetime, Falkman experiences death, quits his job twice, marries Marion, meets Marion, graduates school, and grows up at home. Majority of the story describes the happenings of Falkman’s life and it is those happenings and that period of time that Ballard intends for the reader to focus on. The beginning and end of life is the same for everyone: nonexistent; life is the time in between the beginning and the end.

Comments:
I took out the orignial topic sentence (top bun) because it sounded very cliche and just made what was originally the first sentence of my thesis the topic sentence. I replaced my orginally thesis with the suggested thesis from SpApA, the new thesis retains the orginal thesis's point but it is more specific to the story in discussion and sounds a lot better. I did not change the rest of my paragraph (the cheese, condiments) because I felt they were fine just the way they were. It is not a specific example from the story, instead, the whole story is the example. This was fine becaue I intentionally wanted the thesis to be supported by just one paragraph, I did not intend to expand it into an entire essay. So the example is a little bit broad but I felt it was ok to be that way.