Monday, October 27, 2008

Thesis

In the "Time of Passage," James Falkman's reverse life exemplifies the little disparity between death and birth. The journey in between death and birth is the meaningful part of life.
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3 comments:

SpApA said...

I would suggest revising your second sentence a bit. Rather than saying, "the journey between death and birth is the meaningful part of life", because life is defined solely as being between birth and death, i would suggest writing something like: "Through this invertion of birth and death, Falkman is suggesting that regardless of which happens first, what's important is how one chooses to live his or her life, rather than worrying about that which they can't control.

Or something like that.

October 27, 2008 at 9:37 PM
Ben Grandy said...

Damn, spapa took the words right out of my mouth. I don't know if I'd add that whole "rather than worrying about that which they can't control." bit. I don't know if anyone is angry or distraught at their own birth. I like spapa's rewording of the rest of the thesis.

October 28, 2008 at 1:34 AM
Nathan Noonan said...

Your thesis needs some revision, maybe you could try making it one sentence so it becomes more focused and concise whereas sometimes more than one sentence may make it seen as less precise. Unless you can make your two sentence thesis well structured for clarity, which makes it far superior than one long thesis sentence. Just take the other two's advice -_-

October 28, 2008 at 1:43 AM

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